Butterfly Blue Ministries

It was the year 2005, and my relationship status with God was dubbed 'It's complicated.' mainly since I still desired to sin and not feel too much guilt doing so. Thank goodness God does not see things the way humans do and loved me regardless of my outstretched hand, warding Him off, but instead still pursued me knowing that one day I would accept His pursuit and welcome Him as my beloved and change our relationship status to "In a forever committed relationship." One of the ways He pursued me at this time was in my dreams. The following dream was the conception of Butterfly Blue, but would not be birthed for another 7 years.  I was walking in a tropical forest and came upon a gorgeous vibrant blue butterfly.  I personally had never seen a butterfly this beautiful before; in a dream or in real life.  As the butterfly and I came face to face; instead of fearing me and flitting away, it hovered. As I gently and cautiously held the palm of my hand out to it, without hesitation, it landed ever so gently  and just rested. That was the jest of the dream, but between the colors and sweetness of this butterfly, I knew there was divine meaning behind it and one day, I would possibly discover just what that was. It was early evening of Good Friday of 2012;  I found myself experiencing a similar scenario to The Samaritan woman, but my well took on the appearance of my own bedroom. Just like The Samaritan woman's life was forever transformed, so too was mine. A new journey of inner transformation began for me that evening and has not let up since.  I had to start from scratch understanding just what this man named Jesus was all about.  I had to rid myself of everything I had been taught in church and just allow His teachings to come forth from His heart of grace so my heart could be healed and I could love again.  Jesus showed me at this time the similarities between my new journey of trust, abandonment and transformation and that of the beautiful blue butterfly I had dreamed about 7 years earlier.  I discovered that a butterfly has to die completely of itself before the transformation takes place within its cocoon and I too have had to do the same on this new beautiful journey of restoration and transformation.   My old ways of thinking, worldly habits and sinful ways all had to die at His feet before I could be reborn into what He already knew was possible. That night in my bedroom, instead of coming face to face with a butterfly, I came face to face with Jesus and my life has never been the same. During this divine encounter, a spiritual awakening took place and so began a beautiful courtship and journey between the two of us.  It was during this journey that Butterfly Blue Ministries was birthed and represents the beauty and power behind choosing to surrender to the possibilities of change through the power of Christ; welcoming it, trusting in the process and celebrating the victory God already knows is won. It was a year past my Good Friday encounter that God brought a Boaz into my life and Dave and I have been married now for 7 years.  This year Dave has decided to team up alongside me and so Butterfly Blue Ministries has grown into something even bigger. You see, Dave and I both understand the pains of shame, disgrace, emotional, physical and sexual abuse, co-dependency, rejection and trauma.  We have grown in grace and truth, not because of anything we have done, but because Christ in us has transformed every part of our once toxic and negative mindsets and with His perfect demonstration of love, truth and grace has given us new minds, hearts, spirits and identity.  We have committed to releasing what was once dead within us due to lies we grabbed ahold of and gave power to, and traded them in for Gods life-giving truth which has established within us a new foundation grounded and grafted in Jesus's powerful redeeming love.  We are no longer slaves, orphans, victims or filled with shame and disgrace.  We can gaze in the mirror and see staring back at us His reflection of healing restoration through love and grace.  We love what Jesus has done for us so we both desire The Father's heart for inner healing through truth and grace to flow freely within this ministry and pour out to those we minister to.

About Dave Congdon

For starters, I was born and raised in Buffalo, NY and grew up alongside 2 older brothers and a sister, 11 years my junior.  My dad was a teacher at our local high school and my mom stayed at home.  From a very young age, I believed I was a mistake and a disappointment since it was made clear that my mom had longed for a little girl and I was her 3rd boy.  My younger self took ownership of my moms disappointment and the responsibility, by becoming a people pleaser, a fixer and a rescuer. I longed to be wanted, accepted and perceived as valuable within my family of origin, so worked hard to achieve that status but always feeling like I was falling short.  Hidden deep within was an agonizing feeling of sadness, inadequacy and rejection that I just could not shake. I had no idea how to cope with my inner pain and the only thing that helped me forget about the anxious feelings, thoughts of rejection and escalating chaos in my home, was to escape to a world of pornography.  This escape world became my source of pain relief and led me down a pathway of mental, emotional and heart destruction, additional identity confusion and relationship trauma. As long as I continued to cope with my pain by escaping to pornography, the more pain I brought to the people I loved.  I produced rejection all around me because my heart was contaminated with it.   It was not until I surrendered my life and every square inch of my heart, mind and spirit over to the welcoming, shame-free arms of Jesus, that I was able to face my demons and one of those was my addiction to pornography.  As I began a new journey of discovering my value and worth from my heavenly Father not my earthly one, things began to change within me.  As I came out of agreement and disowned my own parents burdens and pain, I was able to forgive and release all my judgments and receive my new identity from Christ. In addition, I began learning how to connect since the use of pornography distorted and in many ways destroyed my ability to.  As I have learned how to love myself regardless of my past and I have learned the importance of my voice, my worth, my value and my life, I have also learned how to love others well without thoughts of lust or judgment.  Today, I am a son of The God of All Creation! I am free, redeemed and no longer a slave to shame, lust, or rejection.  I am not a disappointment or a mistake because I am chosen and I am His. 

About Rev. Marcia Ann

Who am I? Gosh, that's a great question and one I personally struggled on and off with for 48 years. My brain took on the appearance of a pinball machine, lights flashing and bells ringing as lie upon lie bounced back and forth trying to make sense of of who I was. Am I a twin? The other twin? One of the 5 children? The middle child? The one with a learning disability? My Dad's daughter? My Mom's daughter? A sinner on the highway to hell? A bad and dirty girl? A Failure? A lay person? An unwed mom? So and So's wife? My children's mom?  A whore? So and So's Ex-wife? Girl friend?  Significant other? A single mom?  For 48 years I was desperate to be loved, known, seen, and accepted for me, but had no idea who that person even was, and how can I love anyone well when I did not even love myself? During my Identity confusion time; I wore all those hats and masks listed above and many others, and the whole time in pursuit of this thing called love; trying my hardest to 'fit-in', belong, to be liked, accepted and chosen, but instead always feeling forgotten, abandoned, invisible, and alone; not fulfilled, alive, significant or worthy.  I tiptoed through life out of survival; fearing disappointing my family and peers, rejection, and the thought of not being liked, so began early on negotiating my needs, wants and desires, by morphing into whatever and whomever someone else needed me to be, completely clueless that I was betraying everything about myself in the process.    I had no idea that I was a separate individual with separate needs, wants, hopes, desires and dreams, so I unknowingly never placed any value or worth on what was best for me, or what brought me inner peace and happiness.  As I carefully tiptoed around what I perceived as land mines, in the hopes of one day being approved of,  I lost complete site of my own gifting's, talents, inner beauty and uniqueness.  I became whomever my parents, siblings, boyfriends, husbands, children, church family, bosses or girlfriends needed me to be and that is not identity, that is Co-dependency.   The downside to co-dependency is that it destroys ones ability to appreciate, celebrate and welcome all facets of ones inner beauty, strengths, weaknesses, goals, dreams, needs, wants, desires, hopes, talents and abilities.  It just poops all over them, and brings about so much guilt and shame that you stand there believing that the real you is bad when in fact, that is the furthest from the truth.  How can any of us be bad, when we were created in Gods image?  It took 48 years for me to finally recognize and accept that truth and welcome every part of me back into my life.  For a very long time, I was so ashamed of my past and berated myself on a regular basis, but now that I am set free by Gods grace, I feel blessed by it and I value my time in the wilderness because it allowed me to become aware of His love, goodness and faithfulness.  Without my dark days I would not be able to boast today of His goodness.  My journey was necessary to reveal His redemptive glory flowing through my life. Today as a 58-year old healed daughter of The King of Kings, I am free of all Identity confusion! I know who I belong to and who calls me His! I am whole! I am transformed! I am saved by grace! I am forgiven! I am perfectly loved and I am His! My identity is no longer defined by or based in this world, but securely anchored to and grafted in God and only God. God has always loved me regardless of my past history and has developed within me a deep desire to introduce to those still wandering; still wondering; the kindness, patience, faithfulness, gentleness, pureness and sweetness of His beautiful Fathers heart for ALL of His beloved children.  You can read about my transformation process in my first book called Sanctified and Set Free; My story of transformation from shame to grace available on Amazon in paperback and Kindle versions. The link is below.

If you are ready and willing to discover just how amazing you are and commit to establishing a new mindset and pathway in life where your outcomes will drastically change, my book is for you! I did not change, nor did my outcomes, until I chose to. God already sees you healed, are you ready to see His image of you?

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